I LOVE ORDERING THINGS FROM ONLINE ITS LIKE SOMEONE SENT YOU A PRESENT BUT YOU SENT YOURSELF THAT PRESENT
so i was in the bus with this granny by my side when we spotted two girls kissing by the bus stop. the granny turned to me and said “these girls are so pretty. at their age i was pretty ugly. well, maybe that’s why i had to marry a man” i almost died omg
“You might have got the impression that there is a little bit more to Aunt Petunia than meets the eye, and you will find out what it is. She is not a squib, although that is a very good guess. Oh, I am giving a lot away here. I am being shockingly indiscreet." - J.K. Rowling.
If the reveal had been that Petunia was a witch ~ Several years after the war, Harry tracks his aunt down to confront her with what he witnessed in the pensieve.
"why am i so cold?" i ask myself as i continue to drink cold beverages
*bursts through your window* arE YOU READY FOR ANOTHER BAD POEM *flips dining room table* oNE MORE OFF KEY ANTHEM *jumps onto your kitchen counter* LET YOUR TEETH SINK IN, REMEMBER ME AS I WAS NOT AS I AM
If your heart doesn’t feel like it’s gonna come out of your chest when the lights go off at a concert you’re either lying or you don’t deserve to go to concerts
oh I have a thing tomorrow? guess I’ll go to bed at 2 AM instead of 3 AM
Joan Rivers on the Ed Sullivan Show, 1967 (x)
HOW IN THE WORLD DID SHE TALK LIKE THIS BACK THEN AND END UP HOSTING A SHOW TEARING APART WHAT PEOPLE LOOK FOR A FRIGGING LIVING????
SHOCKED when I got to the bottom and saw “Joan Rivers”
You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
that is the best use for that quote i have ever seen…
yo if u dont like musical theatre thats cool but if u actually insult musical theatre in my presence dude i wont even argue with you i’ll just kill and eat you
these are probably the best pies in london